I am really excited to be sharing this news with you! As part of the Know Your Normal campaign I ...

I am really excited to be sharing this news with you!

As part of the Know Your Normal campaign I have been asked to feature in a charity calendar.

The calendar is being photographed by the amazing Sarah from 'Red Shoe Makeovers' and the proceeds from the sale of the calendar will be going to two amazing charities - 'Coppafeel' and 'Kicks Count'

In October last year Daddy D treated me to a personal Red Shoe photo shoot to try and boost my self confidence, and it was absolutely amazing.

Sarah has the unique ability to put even the most self conscious person at ease and to bring out the best of them in her photographs.

Image Credit - Red Shoe

The calendar will feature photographs of 'real' women who have real stories to tell and I can't wait to find out Sarah's vision for the calendar, and to be photographed along side 10 amazing women.

'Know Your Normal' is the brain child of beauty, travel and lifestyle blogger Ami Elizabeth and aims to encourage women to know their own bodies, and to have the confidence to report any changes that may need to be checked out further, for their own peace of mind.

Every body is different so it is incredibly important to know what is 'normal' for you!

Image Credit - Know Your Normal

The calendar is set to be released in November 2016 and I can not wait to see the finished product.

If you are interested in providing sponsorship to help fund this project, or you would like more information about it then please contact Ami at amielizabethblog@outlook.com

Missy x

I brought my son to see you as he has been suffering with severe upper abdominal pain. As we walke...

I brought my son to see you as he has been suffering with severe upper abdominal pain.

As we walked into your office you were standing by the door waiting to greet us.

You greeted my son first and held out your hand so that he could shake it if he wanted to.

Straight away I knew you had read his notes before seeing us.

I didn't need to tell you that my son has autism.  

You already knew!

From the moment we walked in to the room you conversed directly with my son.

You made jokes with him, and even though he didn't laugh you could see he had enjoyed them.

I could have cried tears of joy at the way you made sure he felt comfortable, and how you spoke directly to him, as you would any other patient.

You didn't rush him as he struggled to find the right words to describe his pain to you. 

You were careful not to use any words that may trigger his anxiety, knowing that the idea of having blood tests could cause him to go into meltdown.

And you did it in a way that didn't make him feel like he was 'different' to anyone else!

As well as doing all of this for him you made sure you listened to my concerns as well.  

You didn't brush them aside, as so many doctors have done before you.

These things may not seem like much to others, but to us they were HUGE.

I normally dread our doctors visits, knowing that I would leave feeling patronized and no better off than we were before we went.

But not this time!

I tried to thank you as we left, but I have a feeling I was rambling a bit.

I told you how much it meant to us that you listened and spoke to my son like a 'grown up'

I asked you if you are okay with us requesting you for any of my son's future appointments.

I could have hugged you!

I could have cried!

This is the first positive doctors visit we have had in a VERY long time.

If only you knew what a difference you have made.

Thank You... from the bottom of my heart.

Missy x

On Thursday 14th April Squidge celebrated her 4th birthday. Here are a few photographs from her sp...

On Thursday 14th April Squidge celebrated her 4th birthday.

Here are a few photographs from her special day...

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As I sit and write this it is only 9am and I have no idea how I am going to make it through the rest...

As I sit and write this it is only 9am and I have no idea how I am going to make it through the rest of the day.

In fact, all I want to do right now is climb back in to bed and tell today to f#%k off.

My children have broken me.

I'm not sure what I have done to deserve such horrendous behaviour from them, but I figure I must have been a very bad person in a previous life.

Okay .... so I'm being a little dramatic harsh.

It's not ALL their fault. 

I'm guessing that being sleep deprived and completely stressed isn't helping me manage the situation very well.

But it feels like their behaviour is spiralling out of control .... and I have NO clue what to do about it.

From the moment Roo stepped through the door after school yesterday I knew she was going to be 'difficult' to handle.

She gets herself into these moods, and once she is in them it doesn't matter what you try to do, or say, it is impossible to get her out of it.

She cries for/about EVERYTHING.  
She screams.  
She slams doors (to the point where she has actually knocked my bathroom door off of it's hinges).
She gets herself into a 'tantrum' and rolls around the floor.
She throws things.

And she is incredibly stubborn.

She went to bed in a tantrum last night, and it started again as soon as she opened her eyes this morning.

I made her some breakfast and she refused to take it from me.  
So, I left it on the table next to her.  
The result? .... She sat and cried for almost an hour because I wouldn't physically hand the bowl of cereal to her.

She refused to get it herself, even though it was literally inches away from her.
Then she refused to get dressed.
And then she wouldn't let me brush her hair.

She's only like it at home.

Everyone else always comments on how lovely she is. 

So what am I doing wrong?

I can imagine that there are quite a few of you reading this and thinking "that child needs some serious discipline".
But here in lies the problem.

I have tried 'time-outs', giving extra chores as punishment, sending her to bed early, taking away the things she likes the most, technology bans etc, etc, etc.

It has ZERO effect on her.

I have even tried looking at things from another perspective and have tried to find ways to be more understanding, and I tried to create a place for her to go and calm down.

I purchased a tunnel tent for her bunk bed and got her some sparkly heart fairy lights and fluffy cushions.

I created somewhere safe and relaxing for her to go when she was stuck in one of her meltdowns.

It didn't work.

I don't give in to her tantrums.

The result? .... She cries for several hours at a time.

It's making life miserable, and I am finding it increasingly more difficult to keep calm and not lose my temper with her.

I don't know what to do to make things better, and I'm not sure how much more I can take

I eventually managed to get her dressed and ready for school this morning only for Squidge to then decide that she was going to refuse to go to school.

She threw herself on the floor and screamed.

I don't know if you've ever experienced a toddler in a tantrum, but they have this unique way of making their bodies completely limp and incrediby heavy.

It was impossible to get her to leave the house.

It was the straw that broke the camels back, and I am that camel.

Luckily Daddy D was still home, as he is starting work late today.
He took Roo and Little Man to school in the car for me so they wouldn't be late, but I have had to keep Squidge home.

The only other option was to make everyone else late for school.

She is only attending nursery at the moment (which isn't compulsory) so even though having to give in to her and keep her home is not ideal, it isn't the end of the world.

The biggest issue is when this happens and I am here on my own and we have to walk to school.

If Daddy D hadn't been here this morning I don't know what I would have done, or how I would have been able to get the other children to school.

I feel so stressed out by everything at the moment.

I know I have focused on Roo in this post, but it's not just her.

I am contending with all of the medical issues that are happening at the moment, while trying to deal with extremely challenging behaviour from several children, and all while not really sleeping properly.
It is all making for an extremely short tempered, exhausted me.

I could quite happily just sit here and cry this morning.

I feel like I am failing.

I will try to be 'better' tomorrow.  

But today?

Today I am broken.

Missy x

Every night I am laying in bed, wide awake, and struggling to get to sleep. And then, when I do fi...

Every night I am laying in bed, wide awake, and struggling to get to sleep.

And then, when I do finally manage to doze off, I end up waking up every other hour panicking that something is wrong.

I convince myself that one of the children are up and needs my help, or that Squidge needs to be checked in case she has had a seizure in her sleep and choked on her own vomit.

I can't switch off my mind.

And the days are exhausting.

I am competing with Boo's behaviour, which is increasingly getting harder to manage as he is reaching puberty.  
I am trying to deal with Roo's 'attention seeking' tantrums.  
I'm trying to keep the 'terrible trio' (Little Man, Squidge and Bubba) occupied and happy.  
And I am constantly on edge and worrying that Squidge is going to have another seizure.

If she is in another room and doesn't answer when I call her then it causes an instant panic and I have to run to make sure she is okay.

The last time she didn't answer when I called her I found her unconscious at the bottom of the stairs.

I feel stressed ALL of the time.
Which is exhausting in itself.
But now the stress is stopping me from being able to sleep.
Which is making the exhaustion even worse.

I am becoming irritable and short tempered.
And it is a never ending, vicious circle.

The good news is I have been able to get Squidge's blood tests brought forward by a week after ringing the hospital and explaining everything to them and how much it is effecting us at home.

At least that is one less week to wait before the referral can be put through for a neurological assessment.

In the mean time I remain on edge, and unable to sleep.

Here's hoping we get some answers before I start to look like an extra from The Walking Dead. 

Missy x