As I sit here writing this I am seriously questioning my decision to put Boo through all of this. I know he desperately needs the antibi...

As I sit here writing this I am seriously questioning my decision to put Boo through all of this.

I know he desperately needs the antibiotics to get better, and I know deep down that it is the right thing to do, but it is breaking my heart. 

Boo managed to accidentally pull his cannula out in his sleep last night. This resulted in a new one needing to be put in ...... and it didn't go well. 
The doctor that was sent to do it tried twice and was unsuccessful. The more she tried the more upset Boo became. In the end a paediatrician had to come and do it instead, but by this point Boo was inconsolable. 
I had to try and pin him down while trying to comfort him and not let myself get upset by his fear and anxiety. 
One nurse in particular made the whole traumatic event so much better. He managed to hold Boo while the cannula was out in place, but he was so kind to Boo at the same time. He talked to him and helped him to feel better once it was all finished. 
He even managed to make Boo smile!
I have never been so grateful to someone as I was at that moment. Thank You! (You know who you are). 

The cannula was finally in but I was completely paranoid that he would manage to pull it out again. 
So, instead of going to sleep, I sat up by his bedside all night and held his hand still to keep the cannula safe. 

We survived the rest of the night without any more problems, but when Boo woke up he was spiking another fever. The nurse came and gave him some paracetamol but he vomited straight after taking it. 
Because of the vomiting and the fever the doctors want us to stay again tonight and wants Boo to continue on IV antibiotics as his throat is too sore for oral antibiotics to be able to help it at the moment. 

Nothing to worry about ...... Right?

After having his next dose of antibiotics Boo's cannula tissued. His hand became red and started to swell which meant the cannula had to be removed. 

Once again Boo was going to be put through hell to get another new cannula. 

It was awful. 
He became extremely upset and anxious. He kicked his legs and screamed at the top of his lungs for us to stop and let him go. 
We had to stop. 
I couldn't put him through it any more. 

He cried. 
I cried. 

After managing to calm him down it has been decided that no more attempts will be made to put a cannula in, unless he is sedated first. 

Now it is up to the ENT doctors to decide whether they are willing to try and give him oral antibiotics or whether they will sedate him and place that cannula. 

I can't put him through all of that torment again. 

I can't put myself through it either. 

I really need my boy to be better now. 
It's funny how we complain about the noise and mess that children can create, but I would give anything to have that back right now. 

Anything would be better that watching him go through this. 

Missy x

NB ..... Since writing this post I have been told that the senior ENT doctors will not sedate him. I will not let them try without as it is traumatising him and will have long term effects. 
What happens next is anyone's guess. 

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