Fear and Pain

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Lucky.

I guess that is an accurate description of how I am feeling right now.

Extremely lucky.

My morning started off in the usual way, being woken up by Little Man at the side of my bed telling me it's morning, "the sun is awake mummy, it's time to get up".

We went downstairs and made breakfast as we normally would. And everything was fine.

There were only 2 things unusual about this morning.

The first being that Bubba wasn't awake yet. He had somehow managed to stay asleep through the noise of all of the others getting up for breakfast.

The second being that Daddy D was still home. Usually he would have left for work already, but today he had a late appointment so he was leaving later than normal.

I ate a slice of toast while the children were eating their breakfast and then Bubba woke up. I came upstairs to get him, to bring him downstairs.

Daddy D was in the bathroom having a shave, and the morning was pretty unremarkable.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

And then it happened.

With Bubba in my arms, I lost my footing at the top of the stairs.

I remember trying to stop myself as I fell forward down the first few steps, and then the realisation that there was nothing I could do.

After that the only thing going through my mind was that I had to protect my baby.

It felt as though I was going in slow motion as I tumbled downwards, trying to twist my body into a position that would stop Bubba from getting hurt.

I don't remember much about the fall but I remember reaching the bottom of the stairs and my left shoulder slamming into the banister as I held Bubba out of harms way. Then smashing through the stair gate that was closed, at the bottom of the stairs.

I remember fear.

Fear and pain.

Poor Daddy D had stood at the top of stairs and watched the whole thing, unable to do anything to stop it.

But thank god he was still there.

Ordinarily he would have been at work already!

I lay in a heap at the bottom of the stairs screaming in excruciating pain, fearing for Bubba and feeling pain. Lots and lots of pain through my entire left side.

I couldn't move.

All I could do was cry, and ask repeatedly if Bubba was ok.

Daddy D whisked Bubba out of my arms to check him over, and rang an ambulance.

Miraculously Bubba wasn't injured.

I had succeeded in taking the full force of the fall and I had managed to keep him safe.

The male paramedic checked him over just to be sure, but he was fine.

He didn't even cry.

Meanwhile, the female paramedic was busy assessing whether or not it was safe to move me.

She checked along my spine and my neck for injury and I was given entonox (gas and air) to help calm me down and ease the pain.

Once my breathing had calmed I was assisted into a sitting position so that I could be assessed further.

The decision was then made to take me to hospital.

Once in A&E I was given morphine, examined again and the taken to X-Ray to see what the damage was.

I had taken the brunt of the fall on my left side and X-rays were taken of my shoulder, arm, pelvis and leg.

Amazingly, they all came back clear.

Even the doctors were shocked at how lucky I have been!

I am extremely battered and bruised and have been warned that the pain will get worse before it gets better, but nothing is broken. I have some swelling on the back of my head/top of my neck so Daddy D has been told to keep a close eye on me and to take me straight back to hospital if he is worried at all.

But, most importantly, my Bubba is ok.

I don't think I've ever felt as much fear as I did in those few seconds where we were falling.

Even now it hasn't all sunk in.

I am very tearful, and can't help thinking about how much worse it could have been.

I am in a lot of pain with lots of cuts and bruises and swelling.

I'm very shaken up, but I would happily have broken every bone in my body if that is what it took to keep my Bubba safe.

It all could have been so much worse.

Now to try and recover.

Missy x

About Missy B

Marissa Bird

Marissa Bird is a busy mum of six, blogging the realities of parenting, whilst trying to keep her sanity by reading books and taking photographs in her spare time... if she can ever find any!

Fear and Pain

About Missy B

Marissa Bird

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