Parenting is hard.  There is no way to sugar coat it.  Every parent out there has experienced a few hours/days/weeks where they have fou...

Parenting is hard. 

There is no way to sugar coat it. 

Every parent out there has experienced a few hours/days/weeks where they have found things difficult, and if they tell you that they haven't then they are lying. 

I am experiencing one of those times at the moment. 

Unfortunately, it seems to be never ending.  
Obviously there are some good parts in every day, but at the moment it seems as though the bad is vastly outweighing the good.

I feel as though I am being dragged down in to a pit of despair and that any patience I have left is being chipped away by the constant bad behaviour of my children.

We always knew that things would be difficult with Boo's syndrome, and that there would be times when we would struggle with his behaviour but, to be honest, I think I would be coping a lot better right now if it was just his behaviour I needed to worry about. 

It feels as though my family is spiralling out of control.

Every day I am battling with children that don't/won't listen, answer back, scream, shout, cry (for every little thing), fight, and are just down right disrespectful.

It doesn't seem to matter what I say or do, nothing has any effect on them.  
I have tried taking things away, sticker charts, time outs, etc, etc.
But there is still no change in their behaviour.

Some of it I can understand.

Some of it is just the natural course of growing up and pushing the boundaries, but surely my 8 year old shouldn't be running around shouting and screaming when she doesn't get her own way?
Surely she shouldn't be calling me an 'idiot' and constantly crying until she gets what she wants (which doesn't happen, so I hear a LOT of crying).
Surely my 4 year old shouldn't be crying for every little thing and insisting that Mummy does everything for him (no one else is allowed to do anything that he needs help with).
Surely my 12 year old shouldn't be constantly answering back and trying to get the upper hand?

I could carry on with this list (which would go on and on) but, to be honest, it is just far too depressing.

This whole situation has me seriously questioning my parenting skills.

Am I doing something wrong?

Have I somehow caused this barrage of offensive behaviour?

I don't see how I could have.  
I have done everything in my power to grow polite, well rounded children, and everyone else always tells me that they are a pleasure to be around and that they are "so well behaved".

So, if they can be like that for other people then why on earth are they being so out of control at home?

The house is a constant mess, no matter how much tidying I do.
Things are always being climbed on/drawn on/broken etc, and I can't turn my back for a second without someone doing something they shouldn't.
I am trying so hard to remain patient with them and to explain why their behaviour is not acceptable, but they just seem to be so stubborn, and keep on pushing and pushing me, completely ignoring me, and making me feel like a failure.

Inevitably, I end up shouting at them, and that is not who I want to be.

I don't want to be the 'horrible shouty mummy'.
But they just wont listen.  
Shouting seems to be the only thing they respond to and I am finding myself in a constant downward spiral every single day.

I am sometimes consumed by the feeling that things shouldn't be like this.

Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets about having my children, but things just really shouldn't be this hard.
I often find myself wishing things were different.  
And feeling like that makes me really sad.

I debated with myself whether or not I should share this post with you, but I always said that my blog would be an honest place.  
That I would remain true to myself and not put up a façade of perfection just to make myself look good.

I am struggling. 
And I shouldn't be afraid to admit it ...... should I?

Nobody's perfect, right?

Hoping I'm not alone ....... Missy x