I am currently bringing pen to paper (fingers to keyboard keys) because, quite frankly, I don't know where else to go, or what else to d...

I am currently bringing pen to paper (fingers to keyboard keys) because, quite frankly, I don't know where else to go, or what else to do.

I am at a point where I am tearing my hair out, unable to find a solution, and feeling really bloody stressed out. 

For a while now we have been having issues with Roo. 

She is constantly causing arguments among the other children and her behaviour leaves a lot to be desired. 

Even Daddy D, who spends most of his time at work, has noticed the extreme behaviour that I am experiencing from her. 

She goes out of her way to hurt her younger siblings or upset them, and will have tantrums and cry over the smallest of things. 

She antagonises Boo who then gets frustrated and lashes out, causing her to cry even more. 

When the children have tantrums (with the exception of Boo) I let them get on with it. 
I don't pander to them or give in. 
I let them cry until they realise they aren't going to win, and they give up. 

The problem with Roo is she NEVER gives up. 

She will cry for hours until she gets the outcome that she wants or completely exhausts herself in the process. 

Every morning she makes us run late for school because she refuses to get dressed or finds a reason to fight with someone, or start crying. 

She is rude and disobedient and I am at my wits end. 

I have tried sticker charts, time outs, rewarding good behaviour, removing her favourite items for bad behaviour, etc, etc, but nothing seems to have any effect on her. 

She tells me she hates me and calls me an idiot. 

She constantly tells me no and refuses to do what has been asked of her. 

She cries and screams and throws herself around in a fit of anger. 

Every time it is the same. 
She cries for hours, for whatever reason she has found on that occasion, and then she will continue to cry 'Mummy, hug' until she gets a hug. 

And trust me, the last thing I want to do by the end of it all is give her a hug. 

I just don't know what to do any more. 

Occasionally we will see the lovely, sweet, kind and caring version of Roo. The one who wants to help and is loving and gentle. 

But we don't see her very often anymore and I miss her.

I have racked my brains to try and find a cause for the problem. 

Is something wrong at school? 
Is she being bullied? 
Is she unhappy at home for some reason? 
Or am I just a shit parent? 

We haven't found a reason. 

When I spoke to her class teacher about it she was shocked and told me that at school they always see the lovely version of Roo. 
She is never rude or unkind. 

So why is she like it at home?

No one else seems to see the 'devil' version of Roo. 
She seems to save it all for at home. 
It's like someone flicks a switch when she walks through my front door and she turns in to the spawn of satan. 

I am struggling to find a way to deal with her behaviour, and am running out of new things to try. 

Obviously, as a parent of a child with special needs/autism it does make me worry that there may be more to it than her just being a naughty child. 

But, I don't want to label her.

I want to try and find the root of the problem and solve it. 

This has been going on for what feels like an eternity now, and doesn't show any signs of improving. 

This isn't something that is just going to go away. 

I'm not just having a bad day. 

This is happening every single day, and I am seriously struggling with it. 

Please, if you can offer any words of advice, tips on dealing with extreme behaviour in children, or just some kind words, I would really appreciate them right now. 

Surely an (almost) 8 year old should not be behaving like this?

Missy x 

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